It's nearly Christmas. I'm so far behind I can't believe it. We had one solid week of no sickness - morning or otherwise. Then it struck. John calls it The Lurch. (Not sure why). He got it Sunday night at 7:30. Will got it around midnight. It hit me at 7:30 Monday night. Fast moving and brutal. I suspect food poisioning of some variety.
I don't think we had the flu. When John got sick, I did some research online about the flu (influenza). It is actually a respiratory illness that causes high fever along with a host of other maladies. I didn't know that most cases of "the flu" are not really the flu at all but food poisioning - of which there are about 15 or so different varities all with different symptoms. That's my health lesson for the day.
Given my vast medical knoweldge, I'd have to say that we have "a 24 hour bug."
I'm a little dehydrated. John's making me drink a Pedialyte Gatorade cocktail. Mmmmm. So far I've had that and a little bit of Jell-o. Lost 4 pounds. Mostly water weight. The babies haven't been as active while I've been sick but I'm not too worried. My fever stayed low. I had plenty of liquids except for a period of about 12 hours between 7:30 last night and 7:30 this morning. Not that much different than morning sickness, right?
It's much more difficult parenting non-sick kids while you're sick. I highly recommend not getting sick at all when parenting but if that can't be helped then try to get sick while your kids are sick. When Mr. Cubby was hit with his fever over Thanksgiving all he wanted from me was to cuddle in the rocking chair. It was so easy. We sat and rocked. Yesterday he was the only well person in the house. He was into everything. I'm sure part of it was because he was bored. The rest of us were laying around on couches and floors watching him ride the dog, throw napkins and kleenex around the room, dip coasters in the dog's water bowl, and pull ornaments from Will's tree. (Will has a 3 ft Christmas tree in the family room that he's in charge of. Only unbreakable ornaments allowed).
As for the doctor situation, I've looked and looked for other options but I haven't found a solution yet. I spoke to a friend who told me that her experience with OBs has been similar. She expained that most of it is them trying to cover themselves to avoid a lawsuit later on. They also deal with a lot of patients who are misinformed or who just don't know very much about the human body or fetal development. So I understand, I guess, where the doctor was coming from. That said, if I can find a better option I will take it.
For now I'm going to focus on getting better and wrapping gifts and watching the Packers kill their competion.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Turning the Corner
I’m cautiously optimistic that my morning sickness is getting better. For the last three afternoons and evenings, I’ve been able to make dinner, tidy the house and keep a smile on my face. Before Monday, John would come home and usually find me on the couch, house in chaos, children covered in dog hair, dog covered in apple juice. I’m pretty sure this is the real thing because I feel like me again. I have happy thoughts about life, am optimistic about the future, and can plan activities that don’t involve the couch or TV or napping. It’s a very exciting time.
If you were at the Mom’s Group Cookie Exchange you can skip the rest of the blog. You’ve already heard it. It’s just me complaining about my last OB visit.
OK, so my last OB visit made me absolutely furious. First, the gay nurse boy who does the temp, blood pressure, weight check was moron enough to comment on my recent weight gain of 7 pounds in one month. Perhaps comment is too kind. He snickered and said something like, “Oh my. You sure put on a few pounds.” Whatever. I’m having twins and have been too sick to get off my couch. Wanted to smack him to within an inch of his silly gay life with a non-designer shoe – just to add insult to injury.
Then, my OB took it upon herself to explain to me that declining prenatal testing and waiting until the 20 week ultrasound to reveal any “problems” was going to make it much harder for me if I decided to terminate my pregnancy. Hello. Can’t she see “devout Catholic” and “work for a pro-life group” stamped on my head? She said, “Have you considered what you would do with a Downs Syndrome baby.” (Note, she didn’t say “a baby with Downs Syndrome” which is bad news. Descriptions that place the emphasis on the problem rather than the baby serve no purpose but to dehumanize the baby). I say (stunned that we’re even going down this road right now when there is absolutely no indication of any problem – unless you count the gay nurse boy’s reaction to my weight), “We’d keep the baby, of course.”
But the doctor isn’t done. She continues. She says, “You understand that if there is a problem, terminating an 18 week old fetus is much harder than terminating a 20 week old.”
I stammer, “No. Absolutely not an option. We’d never do anything like that.”
She continues, “I just want to make sure you fully understand what you’re doing. It’s much more difficult to terminate a 20 week pregnancy.”
I cut her off. “We’d never, ever do anything like that. That’s not something we believe in.”
Let me point out that our decision to pass on the prenatal testing was a sound decision. We don’t feel the need to work ourselves into a tizzy over test results that may or may not be accurate. Many prenatal tests give a substantial number of false positives and false negatives. Plus, we’d never abort. Plus, prenatal surgery for things like spina bifida aren’t an option since we’re having twins. So why do the testing? What good is the testing at this point? We’d just have several extra weeks of worry, maybe a few additional ultrasounds. I like being happy and unworried right now, thank you very much.
I’d also like to point out that even though I told her we would keep the baby, she persisted in the discussion on abortion. Not only did she persist in the abortion talk but clearly betrayed her own preference for the abortion of children with disabilities. Maybe she forgot that I’m carrying twins and an abortion of one of them would be a serious danger to the life of the other. I have no idea what she was thinking but it was so wrong on so many levels.
I’m surprised I kept it together as well as I did. I didn’t start crying until I got in the car and called John to explain what had happened.
I’m trying to figure out what to do now. Switch? Stay the course with the stupid gay nurse who makes me feel fat and stupid doctor who wants to kill my babies?
Good thing the Packers are in the play-offs and kicked ass against Oakland.
If you were at the Mom’s Group Cookie Exchange you can skip the rest of the blog. You’ve already heard it. It’s just me complaining about my last OB visit.
OK, so my last OB visit made me absolutely furious. First, the gay nurse boy who does the temp, blood pressure, weight check was moron enough to comment on my recent weight gain of 7 pounds in one month. Perhaps comment is too kind. He snickered and said something like, “Oh my. You sure put on a few pounds.” Whatever. I’m having twins and have been too sick to get off my couch. Wanted to smack him to within an inch of his silly gay life with a non-designer shoe – just to add insult to injury.
Then, my OB took it upon herself to explain to me that declining prenatal testing and waiting until the 20 week ultrasound to reveal any “problems” was going to make it much harder for me if I decided to terminate my pregnancy. Hello. Can’t she see “devout Catholic” and “work for a pro-life group” stamped on my head? She said, “Have you considered what you would do with a Downs Syndrome baby.” (Note, she didn’t say “a baby with Downs Syndrome” which is bad news. Descriptions that place the emphasis on the problem rather than the baby serve no purpose but to dehumanize the baby). I say (stunned that we’re even going down this road right now when there is absolutely no indication of any problem – unless you count the gay nurse boy’s reaction to my weight), “We’d keep the baby, of course.”
But the doctor isn’t done. She continues. She says, “You understand that if there is a problem, terminating an 18 week old fetus is much harder than terminating a 20 week old.”
I stammer, “No. Absolutely not an option. We’d never do anything like that.”
She continues, “I just want to make sure you fully understand what you’re doing. It’s much more difficult to terminate a 20 week pregnancy.”
I cut her off. “We’d never, ever do anything like that. That’s not something we believe in.”
Let me point out that our decision to pass on the prenatal testing was a sound decision. We don’t feel the need to work ourselves into a tizzy over test results that may or may not be accurate. Many prenatal tests give a substantial number of false positives and false negatives. Plus, we’d never abort. Plus, prenatal surgery for things like spina bifida aren’t an option since we’re having twins. So why do the testing? What good is the testing at this point? We’d just have several extra weeks of worry, maybe a few additional ultrasounds. I like being happy and unworried right now, thank you very much.
I’d also like to point out that even though I told her we would keep the baby, she persisted in the discussion on abortion. Not only did she persist in the abortion talk but clearly betrayed her own preference for the abortion of children with disabilities. Maybe she forgot that I’m carrying twins and an abortion of one of them would be a serious danger to the life of the other. I have no idea what she was thinking but it was so wrong on so many levels.
I’m surprised I kept it together as well as I did. I didn’t start crying until I got in the car and called John to explain what had happened.
I’m trying to figure out what to do now. Switch? Stay the course with the stupid gay nurse who makes me feel fat and stupid doctor who wants to kill my babies?
Good thing the Packers are in the play-offs and kicked ass against Oakland.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
13 Weeks + 2 Days
I'm not complaining about the morning sickness. I'm just wondering when it's going to end. I mean, we're past the magical 12 week mark and oddly it seems to be getting WORSE. But, like I said, I'm not complaining.
I got a little freaked out today thinking about giving birth. I think going natural last time was a little traumatic. I'm leaning more than ever towards a nice, calm scheduled c-section. From one extreme to the other, right? I suppose it doesn't help anything if I get all worked up about the birth process at this point. But I'm a planner. I like to have a plan. These twins are throwing me for a loop. Can't plan a darn thing.
One extremely positive note is that as of last Tuesday I was able to discontinue my twice daily shots. You have no idea how nice it is not to have to endure that anymore. Which reminds me, I have to get more blood work done tomorrow. It's endless. It really is.
So I hope that my morning (all day) sickness passes soon because I'm spending an awful lot of time on my couch watching reruns of The Surreal Life.
One final note. On Thursday, the Packers lost to the Cowboys and now their record stands at 10 and 2. They played a great game and, IMHO, lost because of a really REALLY bad call by the refs. It was so not pass interference. And God love Aaron Rodgers for the great job he did as QB after Favre was injured.
I got a little freaked out today thinking about giving birth. I think going natural last time was a little traumatic. I'm leaning more than ever towards a nice, calm scheduled c-section. From one extreme to the other, right? I suppose it doesn't help anything if I get all worked up about the birth process at this point. But I'm a planner. I like to have a plan. These twins are throwing me for a loop. Can't plan a darn thing.
One extremely positive note is that as of last Tuesday I was able to discontinue my twice daily shots. You have no idea how nice it is not to have to endure that anymore. Which reminds me, I have to get more blood work done tomorrow. It's endless. It really is.
So I hope that my morning (all day) sickness passes soon because I'm spending an awful lot of time on my couch watching reruns of The Surreal Life.
One final note. On Thursday, the Packers lost to the Cowboys and now their record stands at 10 and 2. They played a great game and, IMHO, lost because of a really REALLY bad call by the refs. It was so not pass interference. And God love Aaron Rodgers for the great job he did as QB after Favre was injured.
Monday, November 19, 2007
First kicks
I felt the flutter today FOR SURE when I was putting Mr. Cubby down for his nap (which, incidentally has not resulted in a nap yet but only in a long crying jag which may or may not turn into sleep). I thought I felt it the other day during my shot but then John stabbed me with a needle and all plesant sensations disappeared.
I love the early flutter kicks. Totally the best. When they get older (and stronger) it can hurt sometimes. My husband actually broke his mother's rib while he was in utero. Crazy. It's early to feel kicking but I was reading that with twins often you can feel kicks earlier. Go team. It's go great to feel them moving around and know that they're still doing OK.
Sheesh. Why won't Mr. Cubby take a nap? He's just screaming and screaming. I should check on him. He was completely out of sorts this morning. He didn't want to be held or put down or rocked or fed or to feed himself or to drink a bottle or a sippy. All he wanted to do was feed the dog breath fresheners (for dogs) and Cheerios. We did have a cute moment where he sat inside a laundry basket and piled toys all over himself. He lasted for a while playing in there by himself until he remembered he was cranky.
To Rachel - I tried to publish this in the comments section but after three tries gave up.
I loved our visit too. Thanks for making the trip. :)
Now, on to belly size. First of all 4 1/2 weeks is a big head start, especially early on in pregnancy. Also, I carry way to the back and it takes a while for my belly to pop out. Does it help to know that my uterus is probably bigger than yours? *sigh* didn't think so. :):):)
I love the early flutter kicks. Totally the best. When they get older (and stronger) it can hurt sometimes. My husband actually broke his mother's rib while he was in utero. Crazy. It's early to feel kicking but I was reading that with twins often you can feel kicks earlier. Go team. It's go great to feel them moving around and know that they're still doing OK.
Sheesh. Why won't Mr. Cubby take a nap? He's just screaming and screaming. I should check on him. He was completely out of sorts this morning. He didn't want to be held or put down or rocked or fed or to feed himself or to drink a bottle or a sippy. All he wanted to do was feed the dog breath fresheners (for dogs) and Cheerios. We did have a cute moment where he sat inside a laundry basket and piled toys all over himself. He lasted for a while playing in there by himself until he remembered he was cranky.
To Rachel - I tried to publish this in the comments section but after three tries gave up.
I loved our visit too. Thanks for making the trip. :)
Now, on to belly size. First of all 4 1/2 weeks is a big head start, especially early on in pregnancy. Also, I carry way to the back and it takes a while for my belly to pop out. Does it help to know that my uterus is probably bigger than yours? *sigh* didn't think so. :):):)
Friday, November 16, 2007
11 Weeks
I got an email today from the nurse who is managing my meds. Break-through week. As of today, I can stop the Estrace completely and reduce my progesterone by half. The only down side is that I still have to do two shots a day but like I said before, the shots aren't too bad once you get over the initial muscle soreness.
I had a rough week of morning sickness because I wasn't taking naps everyday like I apparently need to. I was all like, "My morning sickness was pretty over by the end of 9 weeks with Mr. Cubby so it will be over this week." No. No way. And for the record, morning sickness is not, I repeat, NOT psychosomatic. I tried like heck to psych myself out of it this week. Told myself I didn't need a nap. Told myself I could be super mom and carry both boys on either hip and John on my back. Bad idea. What I should have done was nap and then, after the nap, watch E True Hollywood Story.
I feel like such a no account deadbeat wife when John comes home and everything is a mess, including me, and he says, "What happened today?" And I growl, "I didn't take a nap." Because how utterly stupid does that sound to a guy who has been slaving in the data mines all day? When I try to do too much, like empty the dishwasher and wipe the counters, and make myself sick I usually call my mom in tears. She's the best. Last time she said, "Honey, you have two babies growing inside of you. You've got to take a break. What have you eaten today? Did you eat?" She always asks me what I'm eating, even when I'm not pregnant. It's not that I don't eat well. I'm the queen of fruits and veggies - just not when I have morning sickness. But I eat lots of good stuff.
Can we talk cravings? Oh my gosh. So first, the babies wanted nothing but Taco Bell. I tried to practice that in moderation and only eat one meal a day there. Then I bought some of those microwave burritos, the spicy beef kind. The babies liked those but still preferred Taco Bell. Then, a few days ago baby A wanted olives so I ate a jar of olives. I wanted nothing but olives all day. I ate other things but kept coming back to the olives. The next day baby B wanted cheesecake. I ate two pieces, once for each of them. It's not fair to make them share.
On an unrelated note, Will announced today that I have three weeks to make him a sheep costume. I was excited. That is such a school mom project. I'm a school mom. That's just so cool.
I had a rough week of morning sickness because I wasn't taking naps everyday like I apparently need to. I was all like, "My morning sickness was pretty over by the end of 9 weeks with Mr. Cubby so it will be over this week." No. No way. And for the record, morning sickness is not, I repeat, NOT psychosomatic. I tried like heck to psych myself out of it this week. Told myself I didn't need a nap. Told myself I could be super mom and carry both boys on either hip and John on my back. Bad idea. What I should have done was nap and then, after the nap, watch E True Hollywood Story.
I feel like such a no account deadbeat wife when John comes home and everything is a mess, including me, and he says, "What happened today?" And I growl, "I didn't take a nap." Because how utterly stupid does that sound to a guy who has been slaving in the data mines all day? When I try to do too much, like empty the dishwasher and wipe the counters, and make myself sick I usually call my mom in tears. She's the best. Last time she said, "Honey, you have two babies growing inside of you. You've got to take a break. What have you eaten today? Did you eat?" She always asks me what I'm eating, even when I'm not pregnant. It's not that I don't eat well. I'm the queen of fruits and veggies - just not when I have morning sickness. But I eat lots of good stuff.
Can we talk cravings? Oh my gosh. So first, the babies wanted nothing but Taco Bell. I tried to practice that in moderation and only eat one meal a day there. Then I bought some of those microwave burritos, the spicy beef kind. The babies liked those but still preferred Taco Bell. Then, a few days ago baby A wanted olives so I ate a jar of olives. I wanted nothing but olives all day. I ate other things but kept coming back to the olives. The next day baby B wanted cheesecake. I ate two pieces, once for each of them. It's not fair to make them share.
On an unrelated note, Will announced today that I have three weeks to make him a sheep costume. I was excited. That is such a school mom project. I'm a school mom. That's just so cool.
Friday, November 9, 2007
10 Weeks
So I'm 10 weeks pregnant today. I'm exhausted. I didn't get my nap. Also very thirsty. I'm thirsty all the time. My morning sickness seems to be improving little by little. I'm still taking my two shots of progesterone a day and 1/2 estrace pill 2/x a day.
I went to the doctor today. My first visit with the new doc. She was excellent. First, she talked to me and asked me a lot of good questions. Always nice not to feel rushed through your first appointment. She spent at least 45 minutes with me. Never in my life have I talked to a doctor for so long.
She was also really great about Mr. Cubby having to come with me. And she was great about helping me out when Mr. Cubby peed through his onsie and blue jeans. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes for him. It was just once of those days when we were constantly on the move and I didn't think to check the diaper bag for supplies. She was so nice about letting me change the baby in the middle of the appointment. Then when he got fussy, she entertained him with medical supplies.
The best part was that she let me have a sonogram. Every sonogram is like Christmas. Early on, you just want to know the babies are still alive. I saw both heartbeats again. Both babies were moving around, kicking and waving their arms. It was amazing to watch. And to think just 8 weeks ago, they were being reanimated as the antifreeze in their little embryo bodies was being replaced with water. In just 8 short weeks they've grown fingers and toes and hearts and heads. Such a miracle. I can't get over it.
We've started to tell everyone we're having twins. I feel a lot more confident after seeing them again today. So Rachel, you can start telling people... oh wait, you already did. ;)
I went to the doctor today. My first visit with the new doc. She was excellent. First, she talked to me and asked me a lot of good questions. Always nice not to feel rushed through your first appointment. She spent at least 45 minutes with me. Never in my life have I talked to a doctor for so long.
She was also really great about Mr. Cubby having to come with me. And she was great about helping me out when Mr. Cubby peed through his onsie and blue jeans. Of course, I didn't have a change of clothes for him. It was just once of those days when we were constantly on the move and I didn't think to check the diaper bag for supplies. She was so nice about letting me change the baby in the middle of the appointment. Then when he got fussy, she entertained him with medical supplies.
The best part was that she let me have a sonogram. Every sonogram is like Christmas. Early on, you just want to know the babies are still alive. I saw both heartbeats again. Both babies were moving around, kicking and waving their arms. It was amazing to watch. And to think just 8 weeks ago, they were being reanimated as the antifreeze in their little embryo bodies was being replaced with water. In just 8 short weeks they've grown fingers and toes and hearts and heads. Such a miracle. I can't get over it.
We've started to tell everyone we're having twins. I feel a lot more confident after seeing them again today. So Rachel, you can start telling people... oh wait, you already did. ;)
Friday, November 2, 2007
9 weeks
I've got my first appointment with The New Doctor next Friday. She seems like a good doctor, a good person. We shall see. The webpage she keeps for her practice says she worked in Calcutta with orphans so how bad could she be?
The MS is pretty constant at night. I've been really good about not throwing up. So happy about that. There is nothing - hear me - NOTHING worse than throwing up. Twice daily shots in the bum are easy in comparison. Speaking of, we're running out of real estate on my bum for the shots, if you can believe that. But all in all, the shots really haven't been that bad. I think we only have two more weeks left of shots. Keeping my fingers crossed. Note to future Suzanne, shots on the hip hurt way less than on the bum proper
So I was looking around on my computer last night and I turned on my TCOYF software (Taking Charge of Your Fertility). It's a computer program to do Natural Family Planning and it's great b/c you don't have to order new charts and stuff. Anyway, I made notes in it when I first found out I was pregnant with Mr. Cubby. My bHCG levels are also recorded. Mr. Cubby's first beta was 334 at 13 days past transfer. The second beta was 1070 at 15 days post transfer. The numbers were high then and I wrote (this just makes me laugh) that "John is sure we're having triplets." This time around our first bHCG was (gulp) 3800 at 15 days past transfer. Our second was 8902 at 17 days past transfer. John was sure we were having triplets this time too - so was I, with numbers that high who could blame us. But it turns out we're having twins. Hooray!
For those two or three of you who read this blog, please don't spread the news to anyone else just yet. We made the announcement to John's family a few days before Halloween but we're still a little nervous about the possibility losing one of the babies. Admittedly the beta levels were so high that we're fairly confident they'll both be OK but we'd still like to have another ultrasound confirmation.
And finally, Will's latest contribution to the list of names is Shaggy and Scoob. He's emphatic that it not be Scooby for some reason.
The MS is pretty constant at night. I've been really good about not throwing up. So happy about that. There is nothing - hear me - NOTHING worse than throwing up. Twice daily shots in the bum are easy in comparison. Speaking of, we're running out of real estate on my bum for the shots, if you can believe that. But all in all, the shots really haven't been that bad. I think we only have two more weeks left of shots. Keeping my fingers crossed. Note to future Suzanne, shots on the hip hurt way less than on the bum proper
So I was looking around on my computer last night and I turned on my TCOYF software (Taking Charge of Your Fertility). It's a computer program to do Natural Family Planning and it's great b/c you don't have to order new charts and stuff. Anyway, I made notes in it when I first found out I was pregnant with Mr. Cubby. My bHCG levels are also recorded. Mr. Cubby's first beta was 334 at 13 days past transfer. The second beta was 1070 at 15 days post transfer. The numbers were high then and I wrote (this just makes me laugh) that "John is sure we're having triplets." This time around our first bHCG was (gulp) 3800 at 15 days past transfer. Our second was 8902 at 17 days past transfer. John was sure we were having triplets this time too - so was I, with numbers that high who could blame us. But it turns out we're having twins. Hooray!
For those two or three of you who read this blog, please don't spread the news to anyone else just yet. We made the announcement to John's family a few days before Halloween but we're still a little nervous about the possibility losing one of the babies. Admittedly the beta levels were so high that we're fairly confident they'll both be OK but we'd still like to have another ultrasound confirmation.
And finally, Will's latest contribution to the list of names is Shaggy and Scoob. He's emphatic that it not be Scooby for some reason.
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