Conspiracy of Stupids

Go Sarah Palin. This post is entirely NOT about my kids.

I put together a liberal definition of conservatism for those not in the know. It's a conspiracy of a few incredibly stupid people who are out to ruin the country. You'd think the left would get more creative over time. You know, try to think of some other label to pin on conservatives besides "stupid." Reagan was stupid. Clarence Thomas is stupid. Scalia is stupid. Of course all members of the Bush family are ridiculously stupid. McCain, though not a conservative, is stupid because he's running against a Super Liberal. And now Sarah Palin is dumber than a box of rocks, right?

I even saw a blogger on Wonkette call her retarded. And if that doesn't offend the masses, I don't know what would.

Is it actually possible that all of these people are stupid? Did each one hoodwink us into thinking he was smart, only to turn on us with incredible stupidity the moment he gained power? Will we not notice how stupid they are without the very helpful media coming to our aid and pointing this out? (I've been able to figure out how stupid some liberals are without media help). Or was each conservative's success a complete fluke? Maybe it was part of a conspiracy (perhaps a vast right wing one) to take smart liberal people out of power and replace them with Folgers Crystals?

Give me a break, people. My request to liberals is please, move beyond this and have a substantive debate... unless you're just too chicken-shit because you know your ideas suck.

This baseless name-calling smacks of paranoia and stupidity on the part of the libs. And also an utter lack of creativity. Call conservatives what you will, but don't just dismiss us as "stupid" and think we're going to go away.

Can't you just imagine Katie Couric, the cast of The View - sans Elizabeth, John Kerry - pick your favorite libs - standing around in the exclusive social climbing seventh grade click hissing gossipy whispers about how stupid the "nerdy" smart conservatives are who care less about status and more about making the world a better place.

Who does political cartoons? Someone draw this now!

Stepping Away

As I write this, our twin boy is in the other room, on my bed, crying. He has been crying since 9am this morning. He took a 15 minute break to cat nap during his perpetual crying jag so I could make lunch for Mr. Cubby. He took another 15 minute break while he drank 6 ounces of formula. His sister has been sleeping for three hours and for that I am thankful. My jam level is such that I finally had to put him down and walk away. Holding him doesn't help. Nursing him doesn't help. Talking to him and playing helped briefly but within 5 minutes, he was screaming again. He alternates between sad whimpers and full on battle cries but there is no pleasing him.

He has days like this from time to time where he won't nap until the late afternoon. He's so tired - so overtired - and yet he won't sleep. He just won't sleep.

We're trying not to make the same mistakes we made with Mr. Cubby, whose nighttime bedtime ritual is excruciating - compounded by the fact that he has been known to cry so hard he vomits. The cry it out option is more or less off the table for the Cubby.

And suddenly, the storm has passed. There is silence from my bed. Checking on him reveals a sleeping child, finally, soundly asleep. I'm hoping it's not just another cat nap.

He took his first solid food this morning - rice cereal. We're waiting a little bit longer to start his twin sister on solids. She's not quite ready yet.

Argh, and now, 15 minutes into his nap, the boy is awake and fussing again.

Sneaking Away

I'm typing one-handed while nursing and supervising the 2 older boys are in the tub so not exactly sneaking away. The most recent news from the tub is, "Mommy, Mr. Cubby is putting a washcloth on me for no reason."

It's been a long time since my last post but I've been busy. Yesterday I got a hicky on my shoulder from our baby girl. So mothers beware. Tank tops and hungry babies are not to be mixed. The thing is, I didn't even realize she had latched to my shoulder. That's how nuts it is around here.

Also of note from yesterday, I was stabbed in the ankle with a fork. True. I got a baby hicky and a stab wound all in the same day. Our toddler, who refuses to use toddler utensils because he wants to be like the rest of us, dropped his "big boy" fork from his high chair. The high chair doesn't look that high, but if I were to judge based on the velocity of the fork when it pierced my skin, I'd say the high chair is approximately 97 feet tall. And yes, there was blood.

The twins are doing great, BTW. Our boy looks more like Pootie-Poot every day - only not evil. And the sun rises and sets around our dear baby girl... literally. She's awake for both events.

Sunday is pancake breakfast at church. Woo hoo. AND we're having dinner at my brother's tommorrow and dinner at my mom-in-law's on Sunday. What a great weekend, right? No cooking!

Oh, and P.S. Today the twins turn 5 months old. Happy birthday, guys!