Exhausted

I finally finished with my first round of NeCon. It wasn't as bad near the end. Maybe I was getting used to it or maybe I was just so happy I was almost done that I didn't notice. A few days ago I started with Estrace, another form of estrogen. It makes me incredibly tired. Not the regular tired I always feel, but a deeper tired. It's the tired I felt when I was pregnant. So with the NeCon I got the nausea. With the Estrace, I'm exhausted. This is also why my entries have decreased significantly. I'm tired by 8 or 9pm and I don't get a second wind.

Typically, when I'm not on hormones, I rally once the kids are in bed. I could be feeling like I can barely drag myself up the stairs but once the baby is in bed and the older boy is quietly talking himself to sleep I start ticking off all the things in my head that I can do and I start to get excited. I never do them. I rally enough to sit in front of the TV with some snacks. But at least I have the energy to get excited about the stuff I could be doing. Now, with the estrace/ tranquilizer once the kids are in bed I'm just counting the minutes until I can crawl under the covers. Of course, I can't go to bed right away. I have a psychological block against doing things good for me once the kids are in bed. So I also don't work out, pray, or eat vegetables at night. I never, ever go to bed when I'm tired. Two nights ago I was so tired that I fell asleep rocking the baby at 8pm. Got up again. Took a mini-nap around 10pm. Went to bed at midnight. It doesn't make sense. I know.

My point is that the estrace makes me tired and I don't get a second wind. It also makes me confused and anti-social. I guess being confused lends itself to being anti-social. I have a hard time following conversations, maybe because I'm so tired. I have a hard time making decisions too.

One thing that has helped me significantly is - get ready for an infomercial - is the Costco version of Focus Factor. You've seen the commercials, right? Boost memory. Boost brain power. Believe me, I need a boost. Here's the thing, it really does help. During the day, when I don't take it, I wander around our house like a zombie drooling on the floors and walking into the walls. The other day I took two, they recommend taking four but that seemed excessive. Wouldn't you know it, I folded all the laundry, bought and built two shelves for our bathroom and built a fireplace for our deck AND cooked dinner AND did the dishes. Still, I'm on estrace and ready for bed at 8pm but I got a lot more done during the day.

Bottom line, if we do another embryo adoption after this one I need to remember to take Focus Factor.